THE IN-LAWS

by

debbie lynn elias

Mayhem, madness and marriage. An indelible - and at times, lethal - combination. And never moreso than when dealing with in-laws. Inspired by the 1979 sleeper hit of the same name starring Alan Arkin and Peter Fal, "The In-Laws" is the story of two dads who meet for the first time just days before the wedding of their children. But don't get too comfortable, on hearing the melodic strains of Paul McCartney & Wings' "Live & Let Die", you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt, this new 2003 version is nothing like the original but for the premise and the name.

Michael Douglas and Albert Brooks head up a top flight cast (which includes one of my faves - Candice Bergen) as Steve Tobias and Jerry Peyser. Tobias is a CIA operative, deep, deep, deep undercover while Peyser is one of the most hypochondriacal, neurotic, paranoid podiatrists you could ever not hope to meet. Peyser wears a fanny pack with all those little emergency essentials so necessary to life - a collapsible sanitary drinking cup (you know the kind - think Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts), a package of Lorna Doones and a security alarm that sounds like a foghorn. Tobias, on the other hand, wears a knee brace fully equipped with killer darts and has a knife in his shoe.

Although each is trying to make their children happy, Peyser paying for the ultimate catered dream wedding for his littler girl and Tobias, just trying to show up for dinner without being the target of an assailant, both fail miserably. That is, until fate lends a hand and the boys end up together. Tobias, trying to close an arms deal that will net $120 million and either kill or imprison another arms dealer and make the world safe from another rogue nuclear sub, seems to have a calendar crunch. Just how do you fit in covert arms deals with a wedding with no one noticing? The ever paranoid Peyser, not buying Tobias' Xerox salesman cover for a minute, stumbles into the surreal when he follows Tobias into a bathroom, overhears cryptic references to a Russian runaway named Olga, witnesses a fight with an assassin and on fleeing the restaurant with wife and daughter ends up being tailed by the FBI and ultimately "kidnaped" by Tobias and flown to France aboard Barbra Streisand's private jet. One misadventure leads to another complete with homophobia, foot fetishes, the Fat Cobra, French thongs, fanny packs, tables turning, missiles launching, and oh yeah, a wedding.

There is no doubt that Michael Douglas had the time of his life filming this movie. Looking like a kid in a candy store, no matter what the peril, he has a hard time suppressing a grin. And hey, he doesn't do a bad job playing a daredevil James Bond-type! Brooks is perfectly cast as the insufferable Jerry, to the point that you just want to slap the simpering jerk — that is until a little liaison on the south of France where the character starts to take a 360 and become a living likeable human being. Although lacking some of the chemistry that Arkin and Falk had in 1979, these two are still quite a handful together.

Candace Bergen as Judy Tobias, in true Murphy Brown form with a New Age twist, makes the most of her limited screen time, adding another layer to the film with a spicy character who loves her son but hates her ex although she still wants to jump in the sack with him because the sex was always "great, great, great." And hey, you gotta love the woman. Saving on budget and in an effort to help build her character, she even provided some clothing from her personal wardrobe! Stealing the show with pitch perfect comedic timing, however, is David Suchet as arms dealer Thibodoux. Far superior to Richard Libertini's performance as the South American dictator in the 1979 version, Suchet will have you rolling as he calmly explains his new "centering" and "calm" thanks to Deepak Chopra. After all, now when he wants to kill someone, he gives them a running start. And of course, how can you not laugh at an international arms smuggler with foot problems and a fetish for the Fat Cobra. (Ya gotta see it, folks!)

As our newlyweds to be, Ryan Reynolds, best known as "Van Wilder", and Lindsay Sloane, of television's "Sabrina the Teenage Witch", are little more than backdrops to the antics of Douglas and Brooks, but nevertheless hold their own - especially Sloane who has perfected the whiney daughter routine.

Although director Andrew Fleming moves things along at quick pace, once the film ends, you realize all the missed opportunities for some real comedy, possibly due in part to some weak adaptation of the Andrew Bergman's 1979 script by Nat Mauldin and Ed Solomon. Too bad, too. Can't you just imagine, Douglas and Bergen giving us some "great, great, great" sex.


Steve Tobias: Michael Douglas
Jerry Peyser: Albert Brooks
Angela Harris: Robin Tunney
Ex-wife Judy.: Candice Bergen
Jean-Pierre Thibodoux.: David Suchet
Mark Tobias: Ryan Reynolds
Floral Consultant: Mike Beaver

Warner Bros. presents a film directed by Andrew Fleming. Written by Andrew Bergman, Nat Mauldin and Ed Solomon. Running time: 98 minutes. Rated PG-13