Cheaper by the Dozen

By: debbie lynn elias

Photo © Copyright 20th Century Fox
Photo © Copyright 20th Century Fox

Originally written Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey, and subsequently brought to the big screen by Walter Lane in 1950 with Clifton Webb and Myrna Loy starring as the Gilbreth patriarch and matriach, “Cheaper by the Dozen” is the true life, enchanting, and at times, madcap, story of the Gilbreth family; all 14 of them – mom, pop and 12 kids. Set at the turn of the last century, “Cheaper” was on the best seller list for over a year when the book was first released. America was mesmerized by the tale of the efficiency expert father who ran his household like a factory and his psychologist/industrial engineer wife who applied her professional skills to raising children, expanding their minds with higher education at young ages, forward thinking and so on and so forth. When the film was released, America further embraced the ideals of this endearing family. Now, some 50+ years after the original film and almost 100 years since the Gilbreth family first made their mark on society, Hollywood gives a new, and very different, up-dated spin a la Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt, to this beloved tale.

Kate and Thomas Baker are the parents of 12 children ranging in age from four to twenty-two. They wanted 8 but finally stopped at 12. They live in a small house in Midland, Illinois. They are happy; cramped, piled on top of one another, but happy. (And unlike the Brady’s, they have more than one bathroom.) That is, all except Thomas who has dreams and aspirations of moving from his current job as high school football coach to the grand and glorious job of coaching the Illinois Polytechnic University. On the other hand, Kate is so content with her midwestern small town life, that she is able to sit down and write a book about her brood. Surprisingly, the book becomes a best seller. Even more surprisingly, at the same time, Thomas is offered his dream job coaching college football, complete with a pre-paid LARGE house (with a room for each kid), substantial salary increase and a locked in five year contract. One problem, the family has to leave their happy peaceful existence in Midland and move to Chicago. Kicking and screaming, the family relocates at Dad’s insistence. Adding even more turmoil is Kate embarking on a publicity tour for her book. Rather than spend some of their newfound monies on nannies or housekeepers, Kate elects to leave Tom in charge of the kids. What ensues is sheer mayhem and poor screenwriting.

In contrast to the original story, director Shawn Levy and screenwriter Craig Titley, turn a squabbling and prankish but cohesively loving family into a three ring circus with vacuous blank-page characterizations, over-the-top antics, overall annoyance, pratfall free-for-alls and parents that either have the patience of Job or are under serious sedation. Gone are the days of kids jumping on beds – now we’ve got them swinging from chandeliers like monkeys and falling on their face. Pranks of putting a frog in your sister’s pocket have now advanced to soaking underwear in hamburger and then sicking the dog on the wearer. Although obviously enthusiastically directed by Levy, these gimmicks won’t pass muster with anyone over the age of 12. Despite this, however, you will find that for some inexplicable reason, you can’t help but laugh at the goings-on that take place throughout.

Two of the biggest household names of the teen and pre-teen generation, Hilary Duff and Ashton Kutcher, are wasted here. Duff, who is a delight in her signature role as Lizzie Maguire, is clearly uncomfortable here as 15 year old Lorraine, coming across as nothing more than a whiney (but bubbly), mono-syllabic dolt thanks to the poor character development by Tiley. Okay, she does get to be the family’s self-appointed fashion police, but beyond that, well….. Likewise, Kutcher, who plays boyfriend Hank to 22 year old Nora is nothing more than a cardboard cut-out, which could also be due in part to Piper Perabo’s performance as Nora. Perabo, despite showing some prior potential, once again fails to make the cut as even being adequate.

Disappointingly, Steve Martin, who excels at playing harried father roles (and remakes) seems at a loss for comedic material and as a result, is relegated to grabbing laughs through physical comedy and eye-rolling rather than his well-honed wit. Also missing from his character is a sense of paternal command or control and the inherent humor found therein. On the other hand, Bonnie Hunt is a delight. With the timing of Jack Benny, she plays straight man to all those around her and as a result, is responsible for some of the funniest scenes in the film, not to mention giving some much needed balance to the reigning chaos.

Thankfully, for the most part, Levy doesn’t allow the film to take itself too seriously which helps in overlooking its deficiencies. Although flawed and far-flung from the original film, “Cheaper” is still a sweetly saccharine alternative to some of the “heavier” films out there this holiday season, that does have some very funny family moments.

Thomas Baker: Steve Martin
Kate Baker: Bonnie Hunt
Lorraine: Hilary Duff
Hank: Ashton Kutcher
Nora: Piper Perabo

Directed by Shawn Levy. Written by Craig Titley based on the book by Frank B. Gilbreth, Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. A 20th Century Fox Picture. Rated PG.