By: debbie lynn elias
We loved him as Santa. We loved her as the hooker with a heart. We love Christmas. So what the heck happened here? After seeing “Christmas with the Kranks”, all I can say is it put me in one kranky mood for the holidays over such a waste of talent!
Luther and Nora Krank are your average middle-of-the-road, living in one of those “red” electoral states of our country. They are the ideal couple with strong beliefs of home, hearth and family – especially family. Seems Luther and Nora are suffering from the holiday blues at the prospect of their first Christmas without their daughter at home. Now mind you, she’s 23 years old and off on a Peace Corps mission in South America. (Hey, if this were my family they’d be having a party that I was gone! Come to think of it, they are having a party!) But, leave it to Luther to come up with a sure fire cure for what ails them. The heck with Christmas; let’s take a Caribbean cruise! Great idea, right? Wrong. Seems the Kranks forgot to check in with the nosey neighborhood who can’t bear the thought of one “naked” house on the block; particularly the absence of one extremely over-sized Tim Tayloresque Frosty the Snowman on the roof. (Ah, Tim Taylor….you know where this is going!) And as if the pressure from the neighbors isn’t enough, daughter Blair has the audacity to call and announce not only is she coming home for the holidays, she’s bringing her new fiancé Enrique with her. Bound and determined to now have their annual old-fashioned family Christmas, the Kranks kick it into high gear as they, er, try to pull a snowman out of a hat.
Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis star as Luther and Nora. Talented comedians both, you can’t help but feel their pain as they try to wrangle a laugh out of one of the poorest scripts, let alone holiday scripts, to hit the big screen. Allen’s Luther comes across as nothing more than an over-the-top “Tool Time” Tim Taylor with over-exaggerated mannerisms, tired old jokes (you know, the kind your dad tells that you feel obligated to laugh at even though they aren’t funny) and overall overkill to the point of annoyance. Jamie Lee Curtis, on the hand, fares a bit better and does a beyond admirable job of proving that she is still filmdom’s hands down “scream queen” (in more ways then one – she can still shrill with the best of them and this performance will make you scream – in pain). The good news is that their chemistry has an ease much like Allen and TV wife Patricia Richardson although without the comedic bite. As Blair, Julie Gonzalo is acceptable but again, the character is a dichotomy of contradictions which is not her fault. Even Dan Aykroyd who has played beautifully against Curtis in numerous films and himself is always good for a guffaw, here plays to the annoying as nosey neighbor and Christmas cheerleader Vic Frohmeyer. Perhaps a better casting would have been Aykroyd as Luther and Allen as the nosey neighbor. At least the chemistry between Curtis and Aykroyd might have carried the film a bit further. But, I give them all credit for trying to salvage a script better left for the use of Santa’s reindeer on the roof.
Written by Chris Columbus based on a novel by John Grisham (if you can believe that), “Kranks” is just one unfunny movie. (Okay, so my brother Eddie will probably love it; if he sees it for free.) But for maybe two scenes, the film is ripe with comedic set-ups that never come to fruition. No follow-through. All are left hanging like ornaments without a tree branch that just fall flat on the ground. Scenes seem out of place and with no purpose and nothing is ever tied up in one neat little package. But even worse is the tired, forced dialogue that the principals try even harder to push for a laugh. It makes the film drone on with unfunny insincerity. Making matters even worse is the sense that somewhere along the way, the red electoral “home, hearth and family values” sold out to Christmas commercialism under the guise of “keeping up with the Joneses.”
Director Joe Roth does no better as he continually turns golden opportunities for some comic brilliance turn into missed opportunities at the buffet table. Even with its poor script and dialogue, the film had salvage potential had there been good direction in weaving scenes together a bit better giving some real laughs to the project. Instead, what we get is a disingenuous, disheartened look at Christmas Present that’s enough to make Ebenezer Scrooge look like Santa Claus.
If you’re looking for the spirit of Christmas this movie season, head straight for “The Polar Express” or better yet, for some real Christmas comedy, dust off those “Santa Clause” DVDs. Now THAT’s some Christmas comedy!
Luther Krank: Tim Allen Nora Krank: Jamie Lee Curtis Vic Frohmeyer: Dan Aykroyd Walt Scheel: M. Emmet Walsh
Directed by Joe Roth. Written by Chris Columbus based on a novel by John Grisham. Rated PG.
