COFFEE DATE

By: debbie lynn elias

With your first taste, you know this film is something special. A perfect blend of two veterans of a Disney flick (from the same film mind you), a hunky soap star, not one but two legendary Hollywood leading ladies, a former pop star turned actress, one of the freshest young faces on tv today and a guy who loves to spend his Weekends at Bernies, all topped with a great supporting cast of comedic talent and generously sprinkled with the witticisms and quips of writer/director Stewart Wade, and you’ve got yourself the perfect COFFEE DATE.

As with most all brothers, Todd and Barry Muller are complete opposites in many respects. The one thing they do share in common, however (besides their mother), is their desire to torment each other. Todd, a clean cut perfectionist, has a spotlessly clean house, impeccable minimalist but homey decorating sense, has not a wrinkle in sight on his perfectly pressed chinos and button down or polo shirt, spends more time in front of a mirror primping and preening than most women and has a vanity streak to such a degree that he shakes on “powdered hair” to cover his self-perceived “bald spot.” Divorced and back in the saddle again, the dating saddle that is, Todd seems to be have hit a rough patch in his social life. But that’s all about to change thanks to his loving, caring brother Barry.

Flopping on Todd’s couch for who knows how long, Barry is the antithesis of Todd. Scruffy and unshaven, it takes Barry only seconds to turn Todd’s immaculate abode into, well, a pig sty. His hygiene appears to be so bad he could give Oscar Madison a run for his money. But, Barry is a loving brother and it’s with this heart that he does the unimaginable – he posts a personals ad on the Internet for his beloved brother. And wouldn’t ya know it – it worked. (Let’s face it folks – how many of us have brothers that would perform such an act of kindness for a fellow sibling without there being an ulterior or evil motive behind it? Certainly not mine. Probably not yours. I’d be running from any e-mail response to an ad placed by my brothers like the bulls in Pamplona!)

Striking up an e-mail friendship with Kelly, it’s not long before Todd and Kelly decide to meet on their first “coffee date.” All bright and shiny like a new penny, Todd makes his way to the coffee shop only to find on his arrival it is one frequented by gay and lesbian singles and couples. Shocked, scared, mortified and yes, even grossed out, Todd is “forced” to share a table with a handsome young Latino man who is also waiting for his own blind coffee date. But it doesn’t take long before Todd and this stranger are engaged in interesting and entertaining conversation. Movie buffs, they immediately find common ground. Todd is absolutely amazed that he could have something in common with a gay man. Imagine his further amazement when he discovers that the stranger is actually his date, Kelly. Imagine his shock at learning about “gaydar.” Imagine his rage when he learns from Kelly that loving brother Barry posted his personal ad on the “Men Seeking Men” section. Needless to say, neither one ever thought of exchanging photos on the web.

Thanks to their obvious connection, Todd and Kelly decide to not waste the evening and trek off for an evening of Ingmar Bergman movies, followed by a little rendezvous at Todd’s house. Now imagine brother Barry’s surprise when Todd brings Kelly home – – and straight to the bedroom. Imagine his amazement at the realization his brother Todd is actually (gasp) – gay. Or is he?

Guffaws and thunderous peels of laughter really take hold when Barry runs for cover (with the electric toaster and a bottle of alcohol, of course) and as far away from Todd as he can get lest he “catch” the gayness, Mom shows up to lend her undying support and Todd and Kelly continue to hang out as friends, only to be spotted by Todd’s fellow co-worker – who happens to be gay. Needless to say, you know what everyone starts talking about. And did I mention that Kelly’s roommate is a sexy blond girl with the hots for Todd? As my friend Kendric would say, “Drama, baby, drama.”

Although those around him insist he embrace his “gayness” and acknowledge and congratulate and accept him on his choices, Todd keeps shouting his “straightness” to the rooftops. But it’s not long before he soon finds himself questioning his own sexuality and finally must ask the ultimate question, “Who am I?” And not one who believes in spoilers, all I can say is this – there are hilarious twists and turns for everyone, and I mean everyone, by the end of this date.

“Young and the Restless” star Jonathan Bray heads the cast as Todd Muller. Prissy and pouty here, he walks a fine line between masculinity and femininity, keeping you off guard and wondering the entire film, is Todd or isn’t he gay. Jonathan Silverman is a scream as Barry. Still best known as best friend Richard Parker in “Weekend at Bernie’s”, Silverman steals every scene with his frenetic homophobic panic – well, almost every scene because when it comes to Sally Kirkland, no one tops her. With pitch perfect timing and comedic demeanor, she makes Mrs. Muller the mother everyone wants to hide in a closet when company comes. From bragging to the neighbors about her son’s “gayness” to acting as referee to her grown sons vying for mom’s attention, she is absolutely delicious. From the smallest mannerism to the biggest tantrum, she can’t be beat.

No stranger to the younger generation, Wilson Cruz, best known for small screen work on “Party of Five”, “My So-Called Life” and “West Wing” soars as Kelly with a sweetness, strength and sensitivity that is infectious. Veteran Leigh Taylor Young is also a standout in her turn as Todd’s emphatically enthusiastic politically correct boss Diana. Elaine Hendrix, who typically has had a “bad girl” edge in everything from “Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion” to Disney’s remake of “The Parent Trap”, gives that bad girl a bawdy sexy spin here as Kelly’s roommate Bonnie. And just to make the pot a little stronger, comedienne Lisa Ann Walter, also a vet from “The Parent Trap” makes the most of her minimal screen time during a girls and guy gab fest. Hysterical to the bitter end, she has long been a favorite of mine and when you see her here, you’ll know why. Her banter with Judy Dixon’s Ann reaps one the best lines in the entire movie. And relative newcomer Dixon is one to watch. With rapid fire delivery and a devil-may-care attitude, she flings zingers with the ease of flicking away a piece of lint – or a guy that ticked you off.

Truly an ensemble piece, other supporting players include Jason Stuart as Todd’s gay co-worker Clayton and one of my all-times faves, Carol Ann Susi who makes a “back door” appearance as Betty. You may not know their names, but you will definitely know their faces and the laughter and joy each brings to a role. The one disappointment was Deborah Gibson (yes, the former pop star). Too forced, too unnatural, as co-worker Melissa she was the one bitter bean in the bunch.

Written and directed by Stewart Wade, COFFEE DATE, although shot in 18 days (MIRACULOUS), has been several years in the making, starting first as a 2001 short film and then transforming into a full length feature. But it was worth the wait. Incorporating almost every gay and straight stereotype around, Wade’s brew is a tasteful blend of comedy and commentary. No fancy camera shots or effects, the film has a freshness and lightness to it that will stand the test of time and demographics. Key to the success of this film is the production design by tv veteran James Agazzi. Thanks to multiple locations and attention to detail, his work goes far in establishing the visual stereotypes that tacitly support the storyline and the respective characters.

I had the pleasure of screening this film not only at home, where I laughed myself silly, but in a theater where the collective laughter raised the rafters. In speaking with Sally Kirkland, who also serves as Associate Producer, it is her belief that this is a film to be seen in the theater as a shared experience – much like sitting down over a good cup of coffee. I couldn’t agree more. So, make a date for COFFEE DATE. Guaranteed to be rich, smooth and flavorful.

Todd: Jonathan Bray Barry: Jonathan Silverman Kelly: Wilson Cruz Mrs. Muller: Sally Kirkland Bonnie: Elaine Hendrix Clayton: Jason Stuart

Written and directed by Stewart Wade.