By: debbie lynn elias
Shawn Levy what were you thinking! In his first directing effort since last year’s smash hit, “Big Fat Liar”, Levy brings us “Just Married” – a strained, forced, uncomfortable and unfunny attempt at comedy. Unfortunately, as disappointing as Levy’s direction is the film’s star, Brittany Murphy, not to mention the lackluster, unimaginative script by Sam Harper.
More in keeping with the plot line of a rejected sitcom pilot, “Just Married” is the tale of newlyweds, Sarah and Tom. Sarah, rich and well-educated is a Wellesley graduate now working at Sotheby’s. Tom, on the other hand, a radio traffic reporter with a two year degree from Burbank Community College, makes the Australopithecus look human. And of course, as has been told and retold throughout the ages, opposites attract. Well, they may attract but in this case, there’s nothing beyond that. Screenwriter Harper has espoused that his own honeymoon escapades gave him the idea for this story and for that, all I can say is, I feel sorry for Mrs. Harper.
Soaring off to France and Italy for their honeymoon, Sarah and Tom, having been too tired for sex on their wedding night, have no problem grabbing a quickie in the airplane bathroom. Unfortunately, the potential comedy of the situation is lost and the result doesn’t event warrant a giggle. There’s nothing funny about getting your foot caught in a toilet. Moving from one tragedy to the next, our newlyweds encounter disasters from cars to castles, the latter of which is mildly amusing, albeit absurd, as it involves a vibrator, European electric current and incineration. Obviously, they failed to stop at Sharper Image to pick up the latest current converter. And tell me, what are two young obviously sexually active newlyweds doing even bringing a vibrator on their honeymoon? Did the honeymoon end before it even began? And their divergent backgrounds, which should prove fodder for any screenwriter worth his or her salt, are left lying by the side of the road.
Okay, I can relate to Tom’s amazement at American baseball being on television in Europe and his overwhelming need to hang out in the bar and watch the game, but Sarah doesn’t put up that much of a fuss and Tom doesn’t really go full throttle with the testosterone as most men do when it comes to sports – honeymoon or not.
Under Levy’s direction and with umpteen stolen scenes from “There’s Something About Mary”, “Meet the Parents” and “National Lampoon’s European Vacation”, one would hope “Just Married” would hit its mark, but it just falls flat. Levy over-directs this one, obviously trying to compensate for the weak script and poor acting performances, but just can’t pull it together.
Unlike her strong and riveting performances in “8 Mile” and “Don’t Say A Word” Murphy, the new poster child for the dirty hair look, seems out of place and unsure of her role – a fact even more surprising considering that she and male co-star Ashton Kutcher are a couple in real life. The one bright spot, however, is Ashton Kutcher. A former biomechanical engineering student at University of Iowa, Kutcher is both convincing and likable as the blue-collar, beer drinking, dim bulb, Tom Leezak, who, out of love for his new bride, uses his life’s savings to give her a European honeymoon which he hopes will impress her. Harper could have had a field day with this concept had he chosen to pursue it as Kutcher certainly could have pulled off the necessary emotional endearment to make it work. Kutcher just leaps off the screen with such niceness and naivety that he had me wondering what he’s doing with Murphy – both on screen and off.
If for no other reason, “Just Married” should be seen for beauty of its location shots in Venice, Italy, which looks even more magnificent thanks to cinematographer Jonathan Brown. Brown, who worked with Levy on “Big Fat Liar” does his usual excellent job, combining his cinematography skills with his extensive background in steadicam operation.
“Just Married” – a shining of example of why not to be.
