By: debbie lynn elias
For some two years, “The Adventures of Pluto Nash” sat on a shelf just waiting to be finished. Warner Bros. explained the delay was due to the “complicated visual effects” and time was needed to get them “just right.” Well, I say wrong. Clearly, the reason for delaying the release of this latest unanticipated Eddie Murphy vehicle was for one reason and one reason only – this is one of the worst films of the 20th and 21st centuries. “Ishtar” may have more merit than “Pluto Nash.”
Murphy gives a very disinterested and blase performance as Pluto Nash, a former “moon smuggler” or “rill hopper” who has done his time, and is now walking the straight and narrow as a nightclub owner in Little America. Seems over the next 80 some years, Congress finally increased the budget for the space program, allowing us to colonize the moon. Little America is just one of those colonized cities and the only bright spot in the entire film. Unfortunately for Earthlings, one of our favorite national past-times, gambling, (see what happens as the result of baseball strikes), is about to become outlawed. Although time passes, times never change, and a Mafioso-type syndicate decides to turn the already lawless moon into one massive Las Vegas owned, of course, by the syndicate. Wanting the entire moon for himself, syndicate head, Rex Crater, sends his goons to Nash with a non-negotiable $10 million buy-out offer which Nash rejects. Obviously, Nash is not familiar with television re-runs and apparently missed “The Sopranos,” for as we all know, it’s not nice to say no to the syndicate, but Nash does anyway, and ends up with his place being blown to smithereens by Crater.
Not a happy camper, Nash, together with wannabe singer Dina Lake and his robot bodyguard Bruno, decide to go after Crater, leading to Evel Knievel-type stunts (remember Snake River Canyon?), all-terrain chases in hover cars (think “Back to the Future II”), shooting, killing, pyrotechnics, etc., etc., all very reminiscent of the Old West here on Earth – just done with not as much panache, believability or skill.
Writer Neil Cuthbert, who gave us “Mystery Men” and “Hocus Pocus”, attempts to be funny with his endless barrage of butt jokes, supposedly sexy French maid robots who like to bend over and show off their Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie, Hillary Clinton on the dollar bill and freeze-dried animals (just to name a few of the alleged laughs), but fails miserably. Adding insult to injury, despite a veteran cast and enough well-suited cameo appearances to fill the Kodak Theater, the script is completely devoid of character development, and for that matter, a plot. And director, Ron Underwood – what was he thinking to take on this turkey? Having helmed the likes of “City Slickers”, “Speechless” and the 1998 remake of “Mighty Joe Young,” I have to wonder if he actually read the script for “Pluto Nash” before signing on the project. Save for the neon Vegas-like styling of “Little America,” even the sets are lackluster and unimpressive.
Despite an exceptionally talented cast, including Randy Quaid, Jay Mohr, Peter Boyle, Burt Young, Pam Grier, John Cleese, Illeana Douglas and Luis Guzman, not to mention Murphy himself, performances fall flat. Although it appears that all are having fun, that fun seems strained and forced, as the characters lack any chemistry and even attempts at physical comedy fail as a result of the weak script.
As Murphy himself decries in the first few moments of the film, “Horrible, horrible, horrible, that was terrible.” Or, as stated so eloquently by Jean Hagen in her defining role as Lina Lamont in ‘Singin’ In The Rain” — – – – “And I caaaaaaaannnnn’t stand it.”
