Did we really need the hit television series that launched David Hasselhoff into re-run super stardom and made slo-motion beach running jiggling an accepted cinematic technique, made into a big screen film? In short, no. But, apparently the powers that be had another idea and now bring us BAYWATCH, big screen 2017 style.
Directed by Seth Gordon with script by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, BAYWATCH stars Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron as muscled, ripped, and toned Southern California lifeguards Mitch Buchannon and Matt Brody, respectively, as they lead the charge to make the beaches safe – and fun – for all. While the iconic red swimsuits are still around (thankfully), the patented television slo-motion shots are gone. Initially enjoyable but quickly becoming tiresome, the cheese factor also remains in all its glory.
Joining Mitch and Matt are C.J., Summer Quinn and Stephanie Golden, this time played by Kelly Rohrback, Alexandra Daddario, and Ilfenesh Hadera, respectively, with all having the benefit of a very recognizable “Mentor”. Where the series had Mitch a solid, but kind leader, this incarnation has him much less tolerant, yet with a mean streak he interprets as fun, most of which is directed at bad boy Matt, a former Olympic swimmer with a streak of arrogance that could fill the Mariana Trench. The saving grace of Mitch’s persona is Dwayne Johnson’s comedic timing and rapier delivery. Nothing beyond some boyish charm really saves Zac Efron as Matt.
Like waves pounding the shore during a high tide El Nino, BAYWATCH initially swims along at the speed of Michael Phelps, only to suddenly ebb by the middle of the second act. Multiple packets of drugs have been found on the precious Emerald Bay beach, enough drugs so as to tip Mitch off that there’s some sort of drug-running happening with the trails leading straight towards Victoria Leeds, the new owner of the hoity-toity Huntley Club. As the lifeguards do their own investigative work and deal with an ever-growing number of corpses turning up on the beach, sight gags become limited once the plot line is established, leaving the film floundering like a beached whale; even moreso when Johnson isn’t on screen.
In the current push for diversity and female empowerment, BAYWATCH is a wash-out as the heavy-lifting and crime-solving falls to the men with the female lifeguards dutifully supporting the pecs and abs patrol. A saving grace, however, is Eric Steelberg’s cinematography who makes Emerald Bay look like a picture postcard sufficiently inviting to start a huge migration to Southern California.
Although entertaining enough and with enough eye candy for both sexes to pass some time, you’ll soon forget about BAYWATCH faster than Captain Jack Sparrow’s always sinking ships.
Directed by Seth Gordon
Written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Kelly Rohrback, Alexandra Daddario, Ilfenesh Hader
05/25/2017 – debbie lynn elias
