By: debbie lynn elias
Who doesn’t like Lindsay Lohan. Her cuteness, charm and acting ability captivated one’s attention with “The Parent Trap.” Her turn as Casey in the Disney tv-movie “Life-Size” was pre-teen endearment at its finest. Her comedic talents exploded with “Freaky Friday.” She has become the leading, leading lady (but for Julie Andrews who is in a league all her own) in the Disney stables. So, what the heck happened with “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen”???
Mary Elizabeth Cep aka the Broadway bound Lola, is the product of divorce. Always the center of attention, with her parents’ divorce that need intensifies and then compounds even further, when Lola’s mom moves the family from Manhattan to the suburbs of Jersey. (Horrors! Even worse, Jersey looks a strange bit like Canada.) No longer the pride of Manhattan and the Queen of the World, Lola is thrust into a new school, trying to make a new life and new friends, and has to do so as an outsider. With her own flambouyantly out-there New York style, Lola can’t imagine how her new school could have possibly survived without her presence and tackles her first day of school with reckless abandon and an egomaniacal attitude. Bad move Lola. Seems there’s already an alpha female, center of attention in Dellwood in the form of the beautiful, rich and snooty Carla Santini. And if you know girls, there is no way they step aside gracefully for the competition. They will also fight to the fi! nish to hold on what’s theirs, be it friends, clothes, boys or status.
Filling her own self-absorbed need, Lola hooks with the class Plain Jane, Ella, who reveres Lola. Ella is in awe of Lola. Ella will listen for hours on end to Lola’s self-important tall tales – and believe them. Ella is in awe of Lola. (Yep, already said it, but can’t say it enough – essential to Lola’s ego, dontcha know.) They even like the same band which, sadly, it appears it breaking up giving rise to some not so funny antics by Lola who is trying to maintain alpha status with at least Ella. In the meantime, the war is on between Lola and her nemesis Carla as Carla spreads gossip that Lola is, among others, a liar, (due in large part to the incidents surrounding the concert incident). Sabotage and rivalry ensue as Lola still pushes to snatch that center of attention spot away from Carla (so that others beside Ella with worship and adore her), ultimately vying for lead in the school play with a showdown between the two.
Based on the book by Dyan Sheldon, the screen adaptation by Gail Parent is a poor advertisement for what is an enjoyable story in print. Parent has the story and the characters “all over the place” with no real defining story line, written with little snippets of adventures that appear to have been just stuck together in the final cut of the film. Even more disturbing is the incongruity and unbelievability of Lola. Even drama queens have their standards and needs ands those needs don’t allow for hanging with those below your “A” group status (which Lola believes she is). Compounding this is the lack of any modicum of believability in the majority of “tall tales” told by Lola – especially one involving the death of her father. Now what daughter would manufacture the death of a father she loves so dearly!
The biggest downside of the poor script is the waste of some talented actresses and especially Lohan. Apparently second choice for the role Lola (which allegedly was turned down by former Disney pet, Hilary Duff and after seeing the film one has to wonder if Duff was lucky enough to read the script first and Lohan wasn’t), this is Lohan’s first outing at “carrying” a film. And while she is fully capable of doing so, she doesn’t have the product to work with here, being forced to resort to a kind of freneticism that doesn’t quite mesh. A highlight though is a musical number that features Lohan’s talents and it is thoroughly entertaining and enjoyable.
Another waste is Glenne Headly as Lola’s mother Karen, who is relegated to the background really doing nothing more than relating Lola’s escapades over the phone to her father. The only good thing about this is that it fills in the viewer as to what is actually going on in the story. Joyously though is Carol Kane who, as always, is a breath of fresh air, here providing us with another quirky character, this time in the form of drama teacher Miss Baggoli.
Directed by Sara Sugarman, “Confessions” is at the very least, a disappointing kaleidoscope of saccharine silliness and mayhem. Inconsistent mixes of live action and animation, over-used cliches, bad timing and over-the-top out-of-place musical numbers only add to the confusion already created by a poor script.
A highlight for the pre-teen set: a parade of fashion that will send heads spinning over the rapid and never duplicated costume changes. (Of course, parents’ heads will spin when their daughters hit the malls wanting to buy Lola’s clothes.)
Despite it’s shortcomings, I expect “Confessions” to do a tidy sum at the box office thanks to Lohan’s built-in appeal which is still undeniable even here. Note to Michael Eisner: given the embroiled corporate battling within Disney right now, it might have been a good idea to hold off on releasing this film until after the stockholders meeting next week!
Lindsay Lohan: Lola
Glenne Headley: Karen
Carol Kane: Miss Baggoli
Allison Pill: Ella
Megan Fox: Carla
Directed by Sara Sugarman. Written by Gail Parent based on a book by Dyan Sheldon. A Walt Disney Pictures release. Rated PG.
