By: debbie lynn elias
There is nothing I love better than a good (and I mean good) slasher-bloody-gory horror movie. Cool ghouls and maniacs running amok. Madness and mayhem at the ready. Exemplary make-up effects. The mere thought makes my spine tingle with excitement. How joyous! And for me, horror movies always remind me of my family and particularly my brother Ed (although sadly some of my relatives aren’t wearing any make-up, they just look and act horrific naturally). So, it’s always with great anticipation and appreciation that I relish the chance to screen any and every “horror” movie possible, hoping to find that one gem that glistens like fresh blood dripping from the sleek stainless knife of an evil-doer bathed in the shadows of darkness. Unfortunately, but for a few gems over the past few years, since the 80’s the well has been a bit dry when it comes to true classic slasher flicks. But thanks to Adam Green, he slices through that emptiness with a true classic, a love letter to the genre, HATCHET.
It’s Mardi Gras in New Orleans! Home to voodoo, curses, murder and, of course, topless breast-flashing girls gone wild. New Orleans is also home to one, Victor Crowley. Always a mecca for gullible tourists, none may be moreso than Ben and Marcus. Looking for excitement and thrills they stumble on Rev Zombie’s Voodoo Shop. Boasting “Haunted Swamp Tours”, the two are mesmerized by stories spun by the smooth, ominously portentous Tony Todd and decide to join in on the latest swamp tour led by a slick carny named Shawn. Also joining in the fun is the mysteriously quiet Marybeth, a few elderly people and the effervescent super sexy, super slutty Misty and Jenna who are definitely not the brightest bulbs in the box. But hey, Ben and Marcus are happy with their crewmates. What none of them knows, though, is that this very swamp is the hunting grounds for the deformed murderous madman Victor Crowley.
Oblivious to warnings from the locals to stay away from the swamp, the tour group pushes onward, and onward, and onward until they find themselves stranded like Gilligan and his castaways, only this is not a tropical island. This is a dark, cold, murky, evil place and as Marybeth ultimately regales, home to deranged and deformed killer Victor Crowley.
Louisiana legend has it that Victor Crowley was born deformed. As a result, he stayed hidden in his home in the bayou. But just because he was hidden didn’t mean people forgot about him. One Halloween night, kids tossed firecrackers at the Crowley house just to tease and taunt Victor. But the joke turned into disaster as the house caught fire. Home alone, Victor was trapped in the house until his father arrived only to find the place engulfed in flames. Grabbing a hatchet, he started to chop down the front door. What he didn’t realize was that little Victor was pressed up against the door. Chopping and chopping and chopping, Victor was struck in the face with the Hatchet and died……or did he. Mr. Crowley lived another 10 years as a hermit riddled with guilt over killing his son. On his death, strange things started to happen. People began to disappear in the swamp and the sound of a child crying for his daddy wailed through the weeping willows.
With that told, the fear factor jumps up a hundred fold, as a sense of true evil takes hold. Clinging to each other for dear life, our group struggles to find their way out of the swamp, as one by one they start dropping like flies (in predictable order, of course) with the waters getting redder and time getting shorter with each lost life…and with the appearance of “Victor.”
No real headliners here, but rather a collective group of very recognizable talented actors who play their roles with such uninhibited aplomb that they are each a joy to watch. Joel David Moore tackles the role of Ben. Previously seen as Owen in “Dodgeball”, here, geeky and gawky, as the heartbroken, post break-up Ben, Moore is likeable almost to a fault and where he could have played Ben much like a whiney Screech from “Saved By The Bell”, he opts for character strength. Nicely done. Deon Richmond is ideal as the smart alecky Marcus providing comic relief and timing that is more often than not, right on cue. Stealing almost every scene, he wields his sarcasm and comedy with a rapier slice and dice technique. A big fan of Mercedes McNab, I am delighted with her take on Misty. Best known as bimbette teen turned bimbette vampire Harmony in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel”, McNab has seen her share of ghouls, demons, slashing and hacking before. As Misty though, she takes her innate comic timing and perfected bimbette persona and ratchets her performance up even higher with infectious unbridled enthusiasm. Oh yeah, and for the guys out there – she drops her top. Recognizable from her myriad of commercials as well as performances in “Boston Legal” and “Smallville”, the raven haired Tamara Feldman was an obvious choice as the mysterious Marybeth.
One of the best cameo casted films in the genre, HATCHET boasts cameos from some of the genres best and brightest. Take for example, Freddy Kreuger himself, the legendary Robert Englund. As you recall, as Freddy, he sliced his victims through the chest and abdomen. Here, Englund finds himself the disemboweled victim. The irony is too funny for words. Tony Todd as Clive “Rev. Zombie” Washington is a welcome edition to any horror film. A veteran of classics like “Candyman” in which he had the title role, “Night of the Living Dead” and “Final Destination 1 & 2” , when he flashes on screen, you know horror is coming and it will be gooood. Joshua Leonard also steps in from “Blair Witch Project” with an unforgettable quickie. Although best known as Jason Voorhees in four of the “Friday the 13th” films, veteran stuntman Kane Hodder gives one of the most dramatic and effective performances of his career as Mr. Crowley. Severely burned in a stunt gone wrong years ago, Hodder carries those scars to this day. In a very rare move, Hodder’s real face is shown here affording him the chance to exhibit real emotion, real heartache and real terror. He is mesmerizing. Impacting that powerful aspect of his performance are prosthetic enhancements to his already larger than life stature as he tackles another aspect of the film (which I will not spoil).
Written and directed by Adam Green, HATCHET is such a superlative work that if it doesn’t resurrect the horror genre to its grandeur and glory of the past, nothing will. Creating the character of Victor Crowley at the age of 8 in summer camp when campers were warned to behave or “Hatchetface” would come and chop them up, Green has spent his life trying to bring this character and this story to life. A hard road to travel, HATCHET is proof that anything worth doing is worth fighting for.
With meticulous attention to detail of classics of days gone by, Green celebrates the genre and its die hard fans, not just with his superlative cameo casting, but with inside jokes and references to those classic films we all know and love. Yet, he makes his own mark as he hacks into the future with unabashed gore and glory with a ferocious killing frenzy that will have blood pouring out of your arm as your date digs her fingernails into your skin in sheer terror. Victor Crowley is the first 21st century horror icon who should find himself into the annals os history along with Freddy and Jason and Michael. Melding terror, creepiness and yes, fun, the balance is well played and reflective. From the lyrical haunts of the theme from “Dawson’s Creek” to true scare-the-living-**it out of you, Green keeps you on the edge of your seat without missing a beat. Impressive is that many of the scenes were shot in one take.
Also key is Green’s direction as evidenced by his actors. They are clearly having a good time and relish the material. With well played gags (like blood soaked trees with every kill) and gore, you just can’t go wrong. Notable is that rather than opt for just sight gags or cheap shots, Green crafted a story that mandates character interaction and dialogue which in and of itself is entertaining and quick-witted. Also key is the fact that his characters are likeable. You want them to live. You want to them survive. This is one of the rare times that I didn’t find myself thinking, hurry up, get rid of that one now.
But what would a slasher film be without the wonders of make-up and special effects. Calling on the best, make-up and creature effects wizard John Carl Buechler, together with Robert Pendergrast work their magic is graphically magnificent murderous ways, particularly in one decapitation. (Watch it and you’ll see what I mean.) By the way, Buechler is the only magician to have worked on the 3 greatest horror franchises in history – Freddy Kreuger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Meyers.
Joyous is that HATCHET is what movie magic is all about. No CGI. No FX. Every look, every scene is done with make-up, prosthetics and in-camera special effects. The make-up for Victor Crowley alone took 3 hours each night. And noteworthy is that all vomit in the film is real as both Hodder and Moore can throw up on command.
Director of Photography Will Barrett also beings his own patented brand of excellence to the project with some creatively lit and focused lensing. Adding the icing on the cake is Andy Garfield’s score that is so reminiscent of the classics. Just a few notes transport you to a time when gore was good…and now it is again.
Enthralling. Edge of your seat terrifying. It ratchets slasher horror up to new heights. HATCHET hacks its way to a return to the glory days of gore.
Joel Moore – Ben
Kane Hodder – Victor Crowley/Mr. Crowley
Deon Richmond – Marcus
Mercedes McNab – Misty
Tamara Feldman – Marybeth
Written and directed by Adam Green. Rated R. (93 min)
