31 CANDLES sounds, at first blush, like a clever and charming rom-com courtesy of writer/director/star Jonah Feingold—and for stretches, it is. But while the premise promises buoyant comedy and romantic payoff, the film ultimately struggles with tone, repetition, and a central character whose arrested development wears thin long before the candles are lit.
The story centers on Leo Kadner, a 30-year-old Jewish filmmaker in New York who makes Christmas movies for a living and decides—somewhat impulsively—to have his Bar Mitzvah at age 31. On paper, it’s a premise primed for humor: an adult man belatedly stepping into a rite of passage while desperately trying to avoid being alone. Leo wants love, validation, and adulthood, though not necessarily in that order.
Complicating matters is Eva Shapiro, a girl Leo met at summer camp back in 2006 and has never quite gotten over. In an irony that practically begs for comedic escalation, Eva is now his Bar Mitzvah tutor. Leo insists he doesn’t want her—while very clearly wanting nothing else. Around this central fixation swirl family pressures, Hebrew lessons, a required mitzvah project, and Leo’s inability to take meaningful steps forward in his life.
Fumbles and foibles abound, some amusing, many less so. Leo’s core issue isn’t bad luck—it’s stagnation. He hasn’t grown up, and the film repeatedly asks whether he ever will. His father’s advice cuts to the bone: grow up, get a real job, find a girlfriend, get a hobby. The problem is how long the film leans on Leo’s obsessive behavior as a running joke. His constant repetition of Eva Shapiro’s full name and his circular whining about wanting her but not wanting her becomes grating well before the film’s midpoint.
To Feingold’s credit, Leo is not rendered obnoxious—just persistently, gratingly immature. The film captures his juvenile awkwardness and lack of self-awareness with uncomfortable accuracy. Still, accuracy doesn’t always translate to sustained entertainment.
The film finds new life the moment Sarah Coffey appears as Eva Shapiro. The more tedious Leo becomes, the more engaging Coffey’s performance proves to be. Confident, joyful, and musically gifted, Coffey brings a welcome vitality to the screen. Her on-screen presence is magnetic, her deliveries matter-of-fact and sharp, and her chemistry with Feingold—particularly in rapid-fire banter—is genuinely enjoyable. The visual contrast between Coffey’s tall stature and Feingold’s smaller frame adds a subtle Mutt-and-Jeff physical comedy that works in the film’s favor.
Eva has returned to New York, hoping to make it to Broadway, supporting herself by tutoring bar and bat mitzvah students between auditions. Coffey’s musicality is a real asset, whether chanting blessings or singing Irving Berlin, and she lends warmth and rhythm to scenes that might otherwise stall.
Surrounding Leo is a strong supporting cast. Jackie Sandler brings grounded humor as Leo’s twice-divorced mother, Susan, while comedienne Judy Gold nearly steals the film as the irreverent Rabbi Zeldin, reliably generating laughs whenever she appears. The emotional anchor, however, is Caroline Aaron as Grammy Lila, whose Torah-rooted wisdom and gentle faith in Leo provide the film with its most sincere heart.
Ironically, because bar mitzvahs are traditionally rites of passage for adolescents, Leo’s two classmates—played with charm and intelligence by Derrick Delgado and Zoe Hoffman—are among the only people he can truly communicate with. The fact that they often seem more emotionally mature than Leo underscores the film’s central tension, and their scenes together are among its most engaging.
There are comedic set pieces that nearly land: Leo’s rapid-fire outfit changes before dates, inner monologues during dinners, and a Shabbat meal built entirely on store-bought deception. Some bits, however—like an extended date involving a live podcast recording—overstay their welcome and dissipate whatever humor they initially promise.
Visually, Feingold shows a thoughtful cinematic eye. A Shabbat dinner montage around the film’s midpoint stands out, enhanced by graceful superimpositions and a gentle score by Grant Fonda, featuring flute and piano with Coffey singing in Hebrew. Cinematographer Lauren Guiteras keeps the look of the film classic and clean, favoring warmth and clarity over flash.
Ultimately, the film’s quiet strength lies in what it isn’t. 31 CANDLES resists becoming a conventional rom-com. Romance is present, but it isn’t the point. What matters more is Leo’s halting, often frustrating attempt to grow up—or at least confront the fact that he hasn’t. Jewish traditions are treated with respect, cultural neuroses are mined for humor, and the surrounding characters supply wit and perspective that Leo himself lacks.
Whether Leo gets the girl is less compelling than whether he finally gets himself together. Will he grow up? Will Eva make it to Broadway? Will Leo make it through his Bar Mitzvah with dignity intact? And will any of it happen before 31 candles are lit on his birthday cake?
The answers matter less than the journey getting there—uneven, occasionally funny, sometimes grating, but never entirely without heart.
Written and Directed by Jonah Feingold
Cast: Jonah Feingold, Sarah Coffey, Jackie Sandler, Dale Moss, Caroline Aaron, Judy Gold, Lori Tan Chinn, Zoe Hoffmann, and Derrick Delgado
by debbie elias, 12/25/2025
