If I REALLY LOVE MY HUSBAND is an example of love, I want no part of it. If the character of a one-year married Teresa and husband Drew is an example of what love and wedded bliss are, I say run for the hills. And if you can make it past the first 20 minutes of the film and survive the full 79-minute runtime, I say “Mazel Tov” to you.
I REALLY LOVE MY HUSBAND is a tough slog through a one-week, one-year-delayed honeymoon of Teresa and Drew. We first meet them on their wedding day as Teresa is on the phone calling her ex Jason and telling him how much she loves her new husband. Madison Lanesey wastes no time in planting the seeds of dislike for her character, Teresa, exuding cloying insincerity and arrogance, professing “love” for Drew, while Travis Quentin Young‘s Drew charms you from beginning to end with niceness. Seeing the first year of their marriage unfold through a montage of Teresa’s incessant selfies and videos is pleasant enough as it paints of picture of who Teresa and Drew are, with Drew coming across as the clear personality winner. Drew appears shy and humble, wanting to please his wife, and always with a smile on his face. One can’t help but be drawn to him and wonder, “Why is he with Teresa? He seems too nice for her.”
Our first encounter with Drew and Teresa is on the plane to their delayed honeymoon escape to the tropical paradise of Bocas del Toro in Panama. Within seconds, you may wonder if Drew has brought a gag or muzzle with him to shut up Teresa. She is relentless with her chatter on the plane as Drew calmly and quietly sits there listening to her until a fellow passenger goes into anaphylactic shock due to a peanut allergy. Drew jumps into action and jabs the man with an EPIPen, saving his life. Although she denies it, the person who caused the incident was Teresa and her keto bar. Flight attendants and fellow passengers applaud him, but it’s easy to see that Drew is not comfortable with the accolades. He’s just a humble guy who helped out another human being. What we also see is a disgruntled Teresa, angered because the attention is on Drew and not her. She goes so far as to argue her keto bar was not the cause of the situation, garnering some ire from fellow passengers, even as Drew tries to assume part of the blame, referring to it as “our keto bar”. Even that small gesture irks Teresa. This airplane event spells out who Teresa and Drew are as individuals and as a couple. And again, you find yourself asking, “Why is he with her?”
The “Teresa Show” continues with her unhappiness with lost luggage on arrival in Panama. A beautiful beach location and well-appointed rental cottage aren’t enough to distract Teresa’s self-focus and blathering to anyone who will listen that she loves her husband. The fun comes from the coverage shots of the looks on the faces of the people she’s blathering to, while Drew constantly tries to quiet her down. She spends so much time stating how much she loves her husband that you sense she’s trying to convince herself that she does.
More questions about the veracity of this marriage keep popping up, as on the first night of their “honeymoon”, Teresa rebuffs Drew’s desire for intimacy before begrudgingly agreeing to sex, only to then spend the rest of the night watching her wedding video on her phone while Drew sleeps. The next morning, Teresa announces she wants to do intermittent fasting on this honeymoon, something that Drew says no to. Isn’t this a time to eat, drink, and be merry? While Drew enjoys the beach, the water, and the island vibe of the people, Teresa sits in a lounger on her phone, taking pictures and videos and posting them to social media. When she does speak and to whomever she speaks, arrogance rears its head in her voice and body language. Clearly, Teresa has no social skills when it comes to interacting with more than her phone. And again, she is so annoyed with Drew’s affability that she even asks him if he can try not to be so good and so nice.
Things take a turn when their rental host, the non-binary Paz, appears with a belated “island time” breakfast. While Drew and Paz clearly hit it off in conversation, Teresa goes off with more whining, whining, whining. But Teresa has an idea. How about a threesome with Paz for some adventure? No surprise here, but Drew says no; however, he agrees to Paz serving as a tour guide for them.
We see a connection start with Paz and Teresa on this island tour as Teresa appears to desperately force Paz’s full attention on her, and all the while keeps attesting to how much she loves her husband. When Kiki, a friend of Paz’s, appears on the scene, things get a little spicy as Drew is drawn to Kiki and broaches the idea of a threesome with her, which Teresa shuts down in her usual antagonistic “me, me, me” style.
As this back and forth, “will they or won’t they” scenario plays out, revelations abound (most of which the audience has already figured out, but some are surprising) for Teresa and for Drew. Will they have a threesome with Paz? With Kiki? Will Teresa and Drew be satisfied with each other? Or will the desire for adventure wane as the time to return to civilization nears? Does Teresa really love Drew? Does Drew really love Teresa?
Making her feature directorial debut with I REALLY LOVE MY HUSBAND, writer/director G.G. Hawkins seems to have lost her way with the vision for this film. The premise is one that the right filmmaker can have fun with. The fun is what’s missing here. There are some beautiful production values at play here, most notably from cinematographer Ryan Thomas, who delivers calming serenity as almost a counter to Teresa’s behavior and attitude. Shot on location in Panama, the location is the film’s strong suit. Nothing fancy with the cinematography; it’s straightforward and clean, although Thomas does get to have some visual fun with a “cocoa” induced post-omelet haze. Scenes with Drew playing soccer with local children on the beach bring a smile to your heart as you see and feel his joy.
Christina O’Sullivan does an acceptable job with the editing, although another montage might have aided in toning down the annoyance of Lanesey’s Teresa.
Structurally, Hawkins lost an opportunity with the character of Paz. There is so much that could have been done with Paz to expand the story beyond the microcosm of the Teresa Show. There is a morning-after moment that could have been developed further to give some meat to the film, but Hawkins missed the boat on that.
Sadly, Hawkins also misses the boat with Lisa Jacqueline Starrett as Paz’s friend Kiki. Starrett is radiant as a former television reality star who got booted off the show, but loved the island so she stayed. Unfortunately, the character has little to do in terms of plot development and feels somewhat wasted. Having said that, Starrett does have a key scene where Kiki talks about finding treasure. It makes you sit up and think, pondering what type of treasure one may find in life, and in this film.
At the end of the day, we don’t care about these characters. They are not people we would want to see again. A valiant effort by Hawkins, but this is one honeymoon that needs to be skipped, despite the beauty of the island.
Written and Directed by G.G. Hawkins
Cast: Madison Lanesey, Travis Quentin Young, Arta Gee, and Lisa Jacqueline Starrett
by debbie elias, 09/01/2025
I REALLY LOVE MY HUSBAND has a limited theatrical release starting September 26 with previews on September 19 and 20.
