By: debbie lynn elias
The latest in the never ending saga of ugly duckling-becomes- beautiful swan films, “The New Guy” flails and flaps in these well charted waters, never really going with the current or finding good solid footing on which to rest its weary plot.
DJ Qualls stars as Dizzy Gillespie Harrison – a geek beyond all geeks – who longs to be the “cool guy” on campus and get the hot babes. With Lyle Lovett appearing as Dizzy’s father, needless to say, cool, handsome and sexy are not really genetically viable for the Diz. Also needing a little work in the dating department (although some of my dates over the years have had worse lines than this), Diz is at a complete loss when turned down for dates with lines like, “Maybe sometime if you would like to drink coffee near me, I would pay.” Okay…… While most of us who found ourselves in the same unenviable position in high school worked on a make over for the past 20 or so years, Dizzy decides the quickest, surest route to cool is to be expelled from school, and go to prison, eventually hooking up with fellow felons who help Dizzy completely reinvent himself. Okay, so fellow inmates may not be the best examples of “cool” (after all, they ended up in the pokey themselves) but let’s give credit where credit is due – many are snappy dressers, know how to flash the cash and talk the trash and impress the ladies – just what Dizzy wants.
Dying and cropping his hair, changing his name and school, Dizzy re-emerges as new guy, Gil Harris. Diz/Gil knows he’s a hit when “nobody stuffed me in my locker or singed off my ass hairs.” His real coup, however, is the unfurling of an American flag during football practice, rallying the troops a la Patton and spurring the team on to its first victory in many years, not to mention his homage to “Braveheart.” (A word to the wise here – Mel’s got nuthin’ to worry about. No man on the planet wears a kilt like him.)
Despite all the necessary elements of any teen movie – jocks, nerds, geeks, cheerleaders, hot babes, teachers from hell, etc. – “The New Guy” fails more often than it succeeds. Although we’ve also got the “There’s Something About Mary” grossness (an 80-year-old librarian grabbing Diz you know where and making him a 21st century version of a Push Me-Pull You as well as live stream video of the school principal, bathrooms and toilets – you get the picture), the “jokes” fall flat, completely missing the humorous potential of the situations. Although an alternative to those other big blockbusters already flooding the market, disappointment is the key word when describing this film. Even the geek of the year casting coup (DJ Qualls and Lyle Lovett as father and son) can’t save “The New Guy” although Qualls is so personable and affable you can’t help but like him no matter what.
Screenwriter David Kendall, known for his work on “Boy Meets World” not to mention that on “Growing Pains” and “Sister Sister,” appears to have lost his teen angst comedic edge with “The New Guy” leaving numerous gaps and implausibilities throughout the film. Using narration technique with the story being told by an inmate named Luther, I am still at a loss as to the connection between Luther and Diz/Gil. Compounding that defect is the unexplained ease at which Diz/Gil appeared in and out of prison whenever he needed advise from Luther. (Are they handing out Bar cards to just anyone these days?) Knowing Kendall’s work, I suspect that editing or some poor directing by fellow “Boy Meets World” veteran Ed Decter may be the culprit responsible for these shortcomings.
And as to be expected, buried somewhere in the mire is a message about friends, loyalty, accepting who you are and being true to yourself. Unfortunately, Morse Code might have been a more effective way to reach the audience. S-O-S.
