By: debbie lynn elias
Take heed! When it comes to dating rituals, relationships, getting dumped, trying to score, partying, drinking, etc., men aren’t the only ones who play the game by breaking the rules, creating their own rules and fulfilling the Epicurean mantra for life – “eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die” – and in the dating seen, that also includes turning (or at least trying to turn) every encounter into a one night stand with no commitment until that fateful moment when eyes lock, skyrockets soar and the room temperature goes up 50 degrees without turning on the heat. Of course, by that time, you don’t know what a real relationship is or how to get one and comedic antics and shenanigans to win over a potential loved one, fall flat. Long considered to be a male dominated life style, director Roger Kumble now takes the bull by the horns and tries to put a fresh spin on that old concept, showing us in “The Sweetest Thing” that women can be just as cynical, slutty, egotistical, nasty, insensitive and inept as men.
Starring Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate and Selma Blair, “The Sweetest Thing” has our three heroines flailing around San Francisco, singing, swinging and being semi-naked as they epitomize their cynical views on love and romance, subscribing to the theory – “Don’t go looking for Mr. Right, go looking for Mr. Right Now.” Having been unceremoniously dumped by her boyfriend of one year, it becomes incumbent upon roomies Christina Walters (Diaz) and Courtney Rockliffe (Applegate) to lift Jane (Blair) out of her doldrums with that tried and true cure-all – hit the disco and drink…okay, and maybe get lucky.
Unfortunately for Christina, she bumps into Mr. Right in the form of Peter Donahue (played by Thomas Jane) and the her whole theory of existence and “Mr. Right Now” is put to the test. Screw the test. Throw away the rules. Go for the guy. And go for the guy she does. After fantasizing about perfect oral sex and calorie free ice cream compliments of Peter, Christina and Courtney decide to track him down and embark on an across the state trek to what they think is his brother’s wedding. Okay – so he forgot to mention that it is really his wedding. Minor detail.
Along the way, the audience is treated to string of comic, and sometimes not-so comic, vignettes involving semen stains and dry cleaners, maggots in age-old aluminum foiled restaurant leftovers, genital piercings (a hard one to swallow), underwear clad women in cars in compromising positions, crashing weddings, broken door locks, nervous brides, bathroom jokes and even vignettes within vignettes which pay homage to every little girl’s fantasy – playing dress up like your favorite star. (Julia and Madonna – fear not!)
Although a valiant effort by former “South Park” veteran writer, Nancy Pimental, in her big screen debut, “The Sweetest Thing” reeks of “South Park” style humor (which at times, does reek), using its weakly told story as an excuse for the bawdy and raunchy. Come on now! How many semen plot lines have we seen over recent years – and that’s not counting Monica! Time to move on. Roger Kumble does an adequate job directing, but doesn’t seem to know when a joke has run its course and as a result, resorts to overkill.
The saving graces here are Diaz, Applegate and Blair, the latter of whom worked with director Kumble on “Cruel Intentions” and who was so deliciously snobbish last year in “Legally Blonde.” Christina Applegate, best known for 11 years as sex-fiend, blonde bimbette, Kelly Bundy, is a stand-out, proving herself to be a formidable and gifted comedic talent. Her nonchalance and seemingly effortless pratfalls and pranks are believable and downright funny all at the same time. Her breast implant bathroom scene is a classic and will have every guy in the audience panting and every girl nodding in agreement over “breast reality.” (Guys, we really do know the difference, even if you don’t.) And who can resist Cameron Diaz with her ditsy, face-making, smart-but-seemingly-dumb, dancing, belly-baring work as Christina Walters. Priceless. Good to see Jason Bateman back before the camera and he pulls off another gem as Peter’s obnoxious, shirt-chasing brother Roger. Thomas Jane as Peter has a good guy quality and charm that plays perfectly off Diaz’ “bad girl” antics.
Although no masterpiece, “The Sweetest Thing” is worth a peek at a matinee price if only to see the talented cast who go for broke, have fun with themselves and their characters and who, at the very least, remind us all that girls, like guys, just wanna have fun — and then find Mr. Right!
